I have this random but remarkably clear memory from my teenage years. I was sitting at the dining room table, crying over some soon-forgotten drama. It could’ve been friends or school or boys, but I was sitting at the table sobbing. It was dark outside, and I could see my reflection in the sliding door. My mom was sitting with me, talking through whatever was going on.
I can remember sitting there lost in my emotion, and she kindly put a cool hand on my hand.
“How about this? You drink a glass of water. Take a hot shower. Go to bed. Things may feel different in the morning.”
I can remember feeling so well cared for in that moment. I felt like she had seen and heard me, and suddenly the idea of drinking water, taking a shower, and going to bed felt brilliantly comforting. She gave me permission to take care of myself, and that was a gift.
I’m a therapist, and not just by trade. I promise you, in my very heart of hearts, I could talk and process all day every day. I always want to know more, go deeper, talk through every single thing.
I deeply value thoughts and feelings and conversations. They are so important.
But sometimes, we can get so wrapped up in the thoughts and feelings and conversations that we lose touch with our physical selves and our physical surroundings. Our inner world can consume us in a way that doesn’t feel good or serve us well.
There is a simple and profound beauty in connecting with our bodies and our environments. There is power in grounding ourselves in our physical reality. There can be amazing healing properties in a long walk, a deep stretch, time outside, a steaming cup of tea, our favorite music, a warm blanket, or a kind hug.
I can get easily lost in my thoughts and feelings. In fact, it’s happened today. I was an intense morning at home that transitioned to an intense day at the office. I am weary and a little overwhelmed. And in feeling consumed by the mental and emotional, I lose touch with the physical.
Sometimes I long for the days when my mom could just offer the brilliantly comforting self-care strategy that worked so well in high school. And then I remind myself that I can offer that same comfort and care to myself.
So just now I spent a few minutes staring out the window. There is snow swirling and wind blowing through the trees. Rooting myself in the things I see and hear and smell and feel is a way to take care of myself. I made myself a cup of tea before I sat down to write. Connecting to my physical environment and caring for my physical self is a way to care for my heart and mind.
When you feel consumed by your thoughts and feelings, try grounding yourself in the present moment. Tune in to your senses. List five things you see, four things you hear, three things you can touch, two things you smell, and the last thing you tasted. Stand up and stretch. Pay attention to the breath in and the breath out. Think about how you can care for your physical self.
It can look so many different ways. Light a candle. Take a shower. Eat a snack. Take a nap. Put on your favorite socks or lipstick. Get a massage. Ask for a hug. Find ways to connect to your physical self and your physical space.
When we pay attention to our physical selves and our environment, we pull ourselves into the present moment. We ground ourselves externally in a way that can center us internally. When our inner world feels overwhelming, attending to the our physical selves and connecting to our outer world can help bring calm.