I was talking to a friend the other day about a recent trip around the lazy river at a water park. Her mind began to wander as she sat in her tube, and she started thinking about her to do list and all that she needed to accomplish. She realized that she hadn’t exercised yet that day, and suddenly had an idea.
She could multitask, and exercise while she relaxed in the lazy river. She started kicking her legs, trying to move as rapidly as she could, trying to get in as many laps as possible while the rest of her family floated.
She really missed the point of the lazy river.
I can relate to my friend’s story. Sometimes I miss the point of rest too. Relaxing and taking it easy don’t always come naturally to me, which has led me to spend a lot of time thinking about rest, about what it means to be still, to take a break from labor and activity and striving.
I believe that there are two types of rest that our bodies and our selves need; active rest and passive rest. Active rest takes place when we engage in an activity that is life-giving and feels like a break from labor and work. Active rest can look like time with friends, playing a sport, going on a hike, traveling, playing music, or going to a concert or show. Active rest requires some engagement, but still feels like an emotional and mental reprieve.
Passive rest takes place when we stop working and striving and engage in an activity that requires little to nothing from us. Passive rest can look like a nap, watching TV, enjoying a sunset, prayer, meditation, listening to music, taking a bath, or sitting and drinking coffee.
What distinguishes work from rest and active rest from passive rest varies from person to person. For example, reading can be work, active rest, or passive rest. When I’m reading something I need to read for work, it is work. When I am choosing to read something that follows my naturally curiosity and requires focus and thought, it feels like active rest. When I am reading something fun and easy, it feels like passive rest.
Exercise is another good example. For some people, exercise always feels like work. For others, it is always a form of active rest. And sometimes, a nice leisurely walk is a beautiful form of passive rest.
We need all three in our lives. We need work, active rest, and passive rest.
I don’t think most of us know how to do all three well. Yet without some of each of these activities, we cannot be our healthiest selves.
It’s pretty clear that we run into trouble when we are all work and no rest, or all rest and no work. But we also run into trouble when we omit one kind of rest.
I see some people who are very good at passive rest, who can easily recount the marathon naps they’ve taken and the impressive rate at which they binge watching a show. These are great things, but if this is the only way you know how to rest, you are missing something crucial that your body needs. Our bodies need activity that feels playful and life-giving. We need time away from work and time away from screens to engage the world. We need time with people, time to experience new things, time to actively nourish our bodies and hearts and minds.
At the other extreme, I see some people who are only good at active rest. They are always on the go, finding something new to do and experience. They have lots of hobbies and they very quickly fill up any free time that they have. They are good at staying busy with fulfilling things. But they may not be so good at the quieter, more passive forms of rest. Our bodies and brains and hearts need time to slow down, to single task, to be still. Passive rest allows us to do this.
As I look back, I can see seasons where I had both kinds of imbalance. There have been seasons of life where I only had energy for work and passive rest. I would long for the time when work was finished, my kids were in bed, and I could crash on the couch. But there have also been seasons where my calendar was overflowing with good, fun things but there wasn’t enough time to unwind and breathe. In those seasons, I could relate to my friend kicking her way around the lazy river.
This spring was a kicking-my-way-around-the-lazy-river season. I had so much fun and did a lot of things that were nourishing and life giving. But I’ve crash landed into June, and I feel the pull toward more passive rest. Toward meandering family walks through the neighborhood, quiet evenings on the porch, and reading picture book after picture book with the kids. Towards “just one more episode” of Man verses Wild with my son.
I want to live a life where there’s productive and meaningful work, active fun and play and adventure, and space for stillness and quiet. I want to know how to work well and rest well.