On Monday my husband took down our Christmas trees and garlands. He graciously did it while I was gone, so that I wouldn’t have to do it and wouldn’t have to watch him do it. Taking down the Christmas decorations makes me ridiculously sad. It signifies the end of the holidays and the beginning of my least favorite part of the year.
I love spring, when the air turns warm and the world turns green. I love the hope of plants bursting to life and I adore Easter Sunday. I love summer, obviously. Even though humidity is no friend of mine, I love the long days, being outside, the lack of structure, and all the opportunities for adventure and play. Fall is probably my favorite; I am a total sucker for all the fall tropes. I love pumpkin picking and sweaters and apple cider. And then we hit the holidays, with all the traditions, family time, and beautiful decorations. With New Year’s Day there is a burst of energy for organizing and intention setting. It’s all so very good.
But after New Year’s, it’s just winter. And it’s just winter for a really long time. It feels like an endless march of cold and gray days. I still have to go to work and take care of my kids, but I kind of just want it all to stop so I can hibernate.
And yet, it seems like bad form to loathe entire months of every year. It doesn’t seem right to resign myself to grumble about winter, every winter. So for the past few years I have been trying to learn to love winter, or at least appreciate it. I’ve heard it said that you can’t change what you like, but I don’t buy that theory. I used to hate coffee, and now it’s a bright spot in every single day. Tastes and preferences can change.
Let’s just say that it’s a work in progress. It’s early January, and I’ve already been feeling the dread, the low level anxiety about the next few months. But I am learning, and I am figuring out how to value winter. I’ve practiced a few concepts that are helping me tremendously.
The first is to focus on the light. One of the hardest parts of January and February is how dark they are. However, after December 21st the days are get longer. I am trying to focus on the slow and gradual lengthening of the days, the sun rising a little earlier and setting a little later each and every day. In the Midwest we can go long stretches of time without seeing the sun, so when it’s out, I make every effort to spend at least a few minutes outside, with the sun on my face. I don’t let those sunny days go to waste, even if it’s freezing cold.
I’ve also declared that on January 1, Christmas lights become twinkle lights. I have twinkle lights up all over my house right now, even with the tree down. I have battery operated flameless candles that I turn on with the push of a button, and I light real candles almost every day. When there isn’t a lot of natural light, I find my own.
The second is to focus on being cozy. I love warm blankets, hot tea, soft clothes, heavy socks, and feeling warm and bundled when the weather is bad. I have to remind myself that I love these things and I have to seek them out. Two years ago, I was bemoaning that my feet are always cold, and I realized that I was wearing really cheap, thin socks. I bought some warmer socks and started wearing my slippers every second I was home. A small shift, but it made a difference.
I can’t hibernate, but I can seize opportunities to be cozy and treasure them. Last night after my daughters went to bed, I put on some soft pjs, made myself a cup of tea, and lit a candle. I grabbed my favorite blanket and my book, and my son and I snuggled on the couch and read. I had been running around in the bitter cold all day, but that cozy hour helped me value the warmth and connection that can only be found on a winter evening.
And finally, I plan things. In the winter the weather pulls us all into hibernation, and we end up feeling isolated. I have to be intentional about combating isolation. I try and plan coffee with friends, dinners with extended family, and some family outings. I’ve learned that I enjoy snowshoeing, which gets me out of the house for something fun. I try and put things on my calendar that I look forward to, try to break up the stretch of gray days.
The dead of winter is still not my favorite. But I am finding goodness in it, and learning to appreciate the building light, the cold weather, and the opportunities for coziness and connection.