I had a blog post all ready to go up last week, and I couldn’t post it. There’s too much going on for regularly scheduled programming.
In the last few weeks, racial injustice has been highlighted in a major way. It’s a centuries old problem, and recent events have brought it to the forefront of our attention. We have major work to do, and it’s work that can no longer be pushed to the side. We need to do better, and we need to do better now. There is need for change at the personal level, and need for change at the systemic level. We need to change the ways that our social systems harm and neglect people of color.
These racial justice issues are taking center stage against the backdrop of a pandemic. There is a lot going on. We are living with the looming uncertainty of coronavirus, social distancing, shifting social expectations, financial loss, hate-filled political divisions, and a complete upheaval of the world as we knew it.
All of these major events are uncovering flaws in our social systems. We are seeing that many of our systems are built on injustice, or are fundamentally broken. We are seeing the need for reform at every level, from health care to education to the criminal justice system. For many, at a personal level, the events of the past few months have illuminated problems that had previously been kept hidden, problems like difficult relationship issues, character defects, addictive patterns, anxiety, and depression.
Being a human is hard, and it is especially hard right now. We are living in a traumatic time, and just being a thinking and feeling person in the world right now is difficult and painful.
Trauma is any deeply disturbing, upsetting, or distressing experience. Trauma threatens our sense of control and makes the world feel less safe and predictable. When we experience trauma, we often find it difficult to integrate the events and experiences into our current understanding of reality.
Trauma can be a dramatic and catastrophic event, such as war, an assault, or a horrible accident. This kind of trauma is often referred to as “Big T” trauma. Trauma can also be an accumulation of smaller, less dramatic distressing events that pile up, which we call “small t” trauma.
Any way that I look at it, we are all living through trauma right now, Big T trauma for some, small t trauma for all.
The trauma we are living through is not the same for everybody. Black people are experiencing an entirely different trauma than White people. People who have gotten sick or lost a family member are experiencing a very different trauma than those who have stayed healthy. Those in financial crisis are in a different place than those with financial security. Very few of us are walking through this time without feeling some distress, without struggling to integrate these experiences into our understanding of reality and how the world works.
Our responses to trauma are wide-spread and involve every body system. Our responses vary greatly, based on our past experiences, beliefs, values, temperament, and distress tolerance. Not all people react to trauma the same way.
When we are exposed to trauma, we may feel fatigue or restlessness or agitation. We may be overcome with rage, fear, or grief, or we may feel totally numb. We may experience physical issues, such as headaches, stomach aches, or insomnia. We are more likely to get injured or sick when we experience trauma. We may be more irritable, anxious, and depressed. We may have difficulty focusing or concentrating. We will feel more tempted to engage in unhealthy coping skills, such as addictive behaviors.
If you are experiencing any of these reactions, I want you to know that it is appropriate to have a trauma response when confronted with a trauma. It is not a sign of weakness, and you are not alone. We are living through global trauma, and I am talking to dozens of people a week who are doing the hard work of processing and caring for their trauma reactions.
If you are struggling, ask for help. There are people who want to support you. In order to process trauma in a healthy and productive way, it is essential to talk about it with someone who cares and knows how to listen. Put words to your emotions, share your thoughts, and connect with someone who can support you well.
Get plenty of rest, stay hydrated, and nurture yourself with good food and movement. Listen to your body, which is an important source of information about how your heart and mind are doing. Practice staying present in your body and to your emotions. Trauma disconnects us from ourselves, and practicing mindfulness and presence can help us reconnect. Check in with yourself regularly and ask yourself what you need.
Recovering from trauma is a process that takes time. Be gracious and gentle with yourself and with others.
It’s a hard time to be human, but time and time again I have seen that humans are amazingly resilient. We can process, move through, and recover from trauma. We are wired for healing and growth. My hope and prayer is that this painful time will be transformative, that we will learn how to love and honor ourselves and each other in more meaningful and substantial ways.