I love Christmas. I love Christmas decorating, Christmas baking, Christmas cards, Christmas lights, Christmas presents, Christmas traditions.
You get the point.
But sometimes I feel like there is so much going on this time of year that I’m always running, always doing, and don’t really have space to stop and savor the season. So this year I decided to start early.
I started shopping early, decorating early, and planning early. We host a little Christmas kickoff party for my family every year on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, and I decided I was going to start the prep work early so that I could slow down and soak in the Thanksgiving weekend.
And I did get way more done in advance than I ever have before. The problem is that I kept finding more that needed to be done. More spots that needed to be cleaned, more laundry to fold, more cookies to dip in chocolate.
I started working in advance, but then I just kept finding more that I needed to do.
This is a fairly accurate description of how I approach life. I am constantly doing work now, “so I won’t have to later.” I’m trying to look ahead and see what needs to be done so that it can be all settled and taken care of.
Unfortunately, that isn’t actually how life works.
I live with three wonderfully active, loud, and messy children. As soon as the laundry is done, there is more to do. As soon as the floors are clean, they are dirty again. As soon as a meal is made and cleaned up, there is another meal that needs to be made and cleaned up.
It’s true at home, but it’s also true at work. Most jobs don’t have a “complete.” We keep doing our work, one day, one hour, one appointment or project at a time.
There is something necessary and productive about my work ethic here. There is always more to do, so it is good to keep doing it.
But there is also something flawed about my mindset, because it holds on to the illusion that there will be a time when everything is clean and complete and I can just sit down and rest. If I keep waiting for everything to be done, I will never rest. I will miss the things I most want to savor and enjoy.
And I really don’t want to miss the good stuff. I don’t want to miss staring at the twinkle lights on my Christmas tree, watching them blur and come into focus. I don’t want to miss snowmen and red cheeks and hot chocolate. I want to focus on the sweet faces, the sounds of laughter, the little fingers learning to play favorite songs on the piano for the first time. I do not want to focus on the mess or the to do list.
I’ve issued myself a December challenge. Each day I am going to check one thing off my to do list. Not because it’s done, but because I am deciding to leave it undone. Then I am going to replace it one act of mindfulness and gratitude. Whether it’s a hot cup of tea, five extra minutes of snuggling my kids, or sending a thank you text to a friend.
I have a feeling that my house won’t completely turn into a pig sty and that the things that need to get done will still get done. Actually, I have a feeling that more of the things that really need to get done will actually start getting done.