If you hate when people complain about being tired, maybe stop reading right now.
Last week was a doozy. My youngest daughter had croup, and between the fever and coughing, we literally did not sleep. I went five nights without sleeping one whole hour straight. I still worked and parented and tried to be a functional adult, but by Saturday I was flat out delirious.
On Friday morning my daughter’s fever broke, and she started feeling better. I’m not sure quite what it is, but in my house once a sick kid starts feeling better, they enter melt-down mode. She basically spent two days throwing massive fits and crying about everything.
Combine a tantruming preschooler, an exhausted mama, and three other family members with their own thoughts, feelings, needs, and opinions, and we were kind of a mess on Saturday. Well, Annabelle and I were really a mess. The others were just kind of a mess.
I am not proud of how I parented on Saturday afternoon. I was impatient, grumpy, and rude. I know that I spoke harshly. I counted down the hours until bedtime. It was a rough day.
Saturday after the kids went to bed, I took a bath, put on my coziest pajamas, and we watched a favorite movie. Saturday night I actually slept, with very few interruptions.
I woke up Sunday and it was a new day. It wasn’t a perfect day, but it was so much better. We made cookies together, the kids played outside, we read books. There was still some fit-throwing (from the little one, not me this time) and some impatience, but overall it was a much better day.
I was amazed at the grace that my family showed me. They forgave me for the rough day and let it go. They gave me hugs and kisses and snuggles. They wanted me to read books, pray at bedtime, and wipe runny noses.
Our families are the people we love the most in the world. They are closest to our hearts, and we share our most vulnerable selves with them. They are also the people who get the brunt of our bad days, our exhaustion, our grumpiness, and our flaws.
My husband, children, siblings, grandma, and parents are the ones who have seen me at my worst, my ugliest, and my weakest. For the record, I’ve seen them in those states too.
There is something so precious and beautiful about relationships that endure for years, that see us through all the seasons, that involve messing up and making up. Relationships that are close enough where we see the flaws and choose to love anyway.
This weekend my family modeled grace to me. My husband and kids loved me and forgave me and still chose to be around me, even though I had been a tired, grumpy mess the day before.
It would be easy to spiral into mom guilt or even shame about my parenting on Saturday. But receiving the love and grace my family offered allowed me to move forward and enjoy the day together.
Family is our first, best, and greatest opportunity to model love, grace, and redemption. And not just the giving of love, grace, and redemption, but the receiving. Family is where we practice these really good, really hard, really important truths.
I needed to be reminded of grace this weekend, and my family gave me that precious gift. And I know that over the next weeks, months, and years I will have lots of opportunities to offer them that grace and that reminder.